PEGGY LEE’S DISAPPOINTMENT SYNDROME

Peggy Lee’s disappointment syndrome is the feeling experienced by many young women when losing virginity. Named for the hit song by the singer of the same name “Is that all there is?” where she recounts her frustrating experience. 

PEGGY LEE’S DISAPPOINTMENT SYNDROME

When a girl is a virgin, her main interest is to know how badly it is going to be and not how beautiful the experience and the pleasure she will feel will be. The sexual references that she usually have are the same as hers; friends, classmates or older sisters. They have little experience and limited information, disappointment even before the sexual experience occurs.

Unfortunately, The modesty, the pain or how uncomfortable she is, is usually the information transmitted by her peers, so they anticipate the first time with feelings of anguish and tension. In most cases, ceasing to be a virgin becomes a kind of competition as it is related to becoming an adult.

Peggy Lee’s disappointment syndrome song

“And as I sat there watching
I had the feeling that something was missing
I don’t know what, but when it was over I said to myself
Is that all there is to the circus?Is that all there is, is that all there is?
If that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing
Let’s break out the booze and have a ball
If that’s all there is?”

Peggy Lee

Keep in mind that having sex too early or too late is the prelude to sexual disappointment in adulthood. In fact, starting very early (less than 16 years old, similar to the starting age in Spanish society) is related to dissatisfaction and erroneous beliefs about sexuality. In addition, different studies show that in these cases, the likelihood of having difficulty reaching orgasm increases.

However, starting sexual relationships too late brings also difficulties, because although knowledge and maturity is greater, so is the fear of failure, sexual disappointment and a greater number of problems related to arousal are evident, especially in women.

Although age is not synonymous with being ready for sexual intercourse, it is true that as we become adults we acquire greater maturity, so the important thing is that the young woman has the necessary maturity to decide and not act out of social or group pressure.

Is That All There Is

“And then I fell in love
With the most wonderful boy in the world
We’d take long walks by the river or
Just sit for hours gazing into each other’s eyes
We were so very much in love
Then one day he went away and I thought I’d die, but I didn’t
And when I didn’t I said to myself
Is that all there is to love?Is that all there is, is that all there is?
If that’s all there is, my friends, then let’s keep”

Peggy Lee

THE ROLE OF PARENTS AND EDUCATORS

As educators and parents, it is our responsibility that our children acquire the necessary capacity and autonomy to make good decisions throughout their lives, from an early age (Peggy Lee’s Syndrome). The education provided by parents and teachers should not be limited to conceptual content; the human body, reproduction, contraceptive methods, sexually transmitted diseases and behaviour patterns. It must also include procedures content; the ability to communicate and to develop a critical thinking.

Moreover, we must establish positive links with fear and use of the senses. The importance of body image changes in relation to the passage of time and healthy hygiene. And last but not least, attitudinal content; sexuality from contraception. A form of affective communication, option and source of well-being, and respect for the diversity of gender and sexual orientation will prevent from disappointment and will increase the odds of having a positive sexual life.

Is That All There Is

“I know what you must be saying to yourselves
If that’s the way she feels about it why doesn’t she just end it all?
Oh, no, not me, I’m not ready for that final disappointment
Because I know just as well as I’m standing here talking to you
That when that final moment comes and I’m
Breathing my last breath, I’ll be saying to myself”

Peggy Lee

HOW TO AVOID PEGGY LEE’S DISAPPOINTMENT SYNDROME

We live in the age of technology, since childhood they have access to all kinds of information, in fact the average age in which children encounter pornographic content for the first time has dropped by 9 years. If the pornographic page becomes the instruction manual on sex for the child, he will come to have a distorted idea of what sexual intercourse really is. If applied in real life, it could cause great disappointment and more serious problems.

Therefore, we must start before we would believe it recommended, since their natural curiosity for the unknown makes them always go ahead. Moreover, topics such as sex, sexuality and erotica, should be part of the whole of education from the naturalness, respect for ourselves and others, as an integral part of the well-being and happiness of the human being. In the first place, by setting an example, through a family model based on respect and love, so that they achieve empathy and progressively acquire social skills.

COMMUNICATION AND AFFECTION

Paying special attention to pre-adolescence and adolescence, stage of construction of one’s own identity due to its psychological and cognitive development. Body image changes coupled with peer pressure can have two main consequences; disappointment with themselves, the feeling of being lost and rebellion as an expression of reaffirmation of one’s own identity.

Thus, the pressure to have sex before they are ready can lead to disappointing sexual encounters and Peggy Lee’s syndrome. To get to this moment successfully it is essential that we parents cultivate a close relationship of communication and affection in which they feel our support and that they can always count on us, from the moment they are born.

Is That All There Is

“Is that all there is, is that all there is?
If that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing
Let’s break out the booze and have a ball
If that’s all there is”

Peggy Lee