LIBIDO AND SEXUAL DESIRE

Libido and sexual desire are the drive that stimulates the sexual behaviour of the person and that manifests itself in different ways in the activity of the psyche. Therefore, we can say that it is the sexual appetite that leads a person to want to satisfy it.

However, libido and sexual desire levels vary enormously from person to person, and even throughout the day. The differences lie in the personal characteristics of each individual and external conditions to the subject himself.

For example, in men around 16 or 17 years of age, the maximum level of sexual desire is reached, then gradually declining. However, in women the increase in desire at puberty is less marked. It remains in progressive increase until about the fourth decade, decreasing progressively from that age.

There are parameters of a normal level of libido and sexual desire. An exaggerated libido implies the existence of a pathology, as well as a minimised libido. In the field of psychoanalysis, meanwhile, libido is understood as a psychic energy that guides behaviour towards a certain end. When that goal is achieved, libido is released.

WHAT FACTORS INFLUENCE LIBIDO AND SEXUAL DESIRE

Obviously, there are many factors that converge and the sex of the subject is not the only variable involved. It is important to note, as unlike what many people think, not having the desire for sex or wanting less than your partner are not reasons to think about a low libido, but it may simply be that you are in a different vital moment, with different needs. On many occasions, the lack of sexual desire is usually related to physiological and psychological aspects, socio-cultural influences and interpersonal relationships.

It is important to note that after a while without having sex, our body gets used to, and it can even be reluctant to have a sexual encounter again. On the other hand, when we maintain relationships assiduously, desire and libido are part of our routine. It is easier to relax and not think, because there is a positive close experience, but when a certain time passes the mind does not have this security and then the performance anxiety appears. Therefore, if we are going through a dry season, in order not to lose training, and prevent the sexual encounter from causing us stress, we must not stop connecting with our self-sexuality, thinking about sex, fantasies, desires, that is, , feel erotic with our body and stimulate ourselves to promote pleasure.

We must not forget that sexual pleasure begins in the brain. The brain and nervous system control the sex glands and genitals, and this is why they also control sexual desire as well as orgasm. This is the reason why visual images unleash libido and sexual desire in both genders.

MINDFUL SEXUALITY

Therefore, reducing stress is the key to improving your sex life, since that way you can be more present. Regular meditation and mindfulness practice have been shown to reduce the amount of cortisol in the brain, the hormone responsible for stress. Cortisol lowers libido, so lowering cortisol can increase libido and sexual desire.

On the other hand, we are too used to sex being anything but conscious. Too often sex is associated with alcohol, avoidance, and fantasy. Sexuality based on obtaining individual pleasure is promoted, assuming that each one is going to achieve his own, being the satisfaction of the other the way of achieving his own satisfaction.

With a mindful sexuality means to be present, here and now, to live the moment as a deep exchange, in emotional and sensorial communion. Mindfulness can play an important role in helping to increase desire and libido and improve sex life. Thus, to the extent that the sexual experience improves, there is no doubt that the couple’s relationship will improve.